“But he’s so big, you know…” Sheila said, directing her eyes downward instead of finishing the sentence.
“Girl, that’s a good thing!”
“That’s what I thought,” Sheila said hesitantly. “That’s what I always heard anyway. But my personal experience has taught me something else.”
Laura didn’t respond this time, knowing that, truthfully, she was also only repeating what she had heard others say. She had never been with a guy large enough to speak for herself.
“I thought I was ready the other day,” Sheila said, “but once we started to get things going, I just couldn’t get my body to cooperate. I was so intimidated.”
“Kevin’s a great guy,” Laura said. “You don’t need to be afraid.”
“I’ve only been with one person before him, and we didn’t do it all that much. It was so awkward for us. It was obvious I had never shoved anything up there before.”
“I tried a finger once or twice, but I never got far. So I kept wincing every time Nobu tried to do anything.”
Her friend only stared.
“Laura, what do I do?”
“I don’t know, but it sounds like you need practice.”
“I’m not going to go out hooking up with all kinds of guys,” Sheila said. “I want to be with Kevin.”
“I don’t mean practice with other people. You need some me time.”
“I’m not kidding. I bet you Kevin has had plenty of me time since he hit puberty, and by the time he finally got with a partner, he knew his equipment inside and out. Everything was ready to go.
“But your situation is different,” Laura continued. “You’re fumbling around trying to figure out what to do in bed, and so is your body. It has to adjust too.”
“Even if I give you that, it’s still too late. I want to be with Kevin now.”
“It’s not going to happen overnight,” Laura said with a smile. “You need time, and if Kevin’s as good as he seems, he will be patient for you. If he doesn’t, then it’s probably for the best.”
“I know you’re right,” Sheila said after a long, contemplative pause. “I’m just afraid he won’t be. It’s not that I absolutely need him in my life or anything. I’m just… curious.”
“It’s rare that a guy comes in Kevin’s size. I don’t want to miss out on what may be my one chance to see if the hype is true!”
“Send him my way,” Laura said. “I’ll let you know.”
Sheila reached across the table to slap her friend playfully on the back of the hand.
“Hey, I’m curious too,” Laura said.
“Great,” Sheila said, plopping her chin down into her palms. “Now I have one more thing to worry about.”
Laura could sense that Sheila wasn’t entirely joking. “Relax, girl. I would never take a man from you without your consent. I’m fine with hearing about this experience second hand.”
Sheila smiled. Still pensive, she returned her attention to the sandwich, now cold, sitting on the table between her elbows. It was soggy, the tomato and pesto having had more than enough time to seep down into the bread.
“We’ve talked about your first time before, but not about this,” Sheila said. “How did it feel? How long did it take you to adjust?”
“My first time was pretty good, actually. I’ve been shoving stuff up there for years. I mean, I never really liked my aunt much, but that gift she gave me for my fifteenth birthday was the best thing she ever did for me.”
“We didn’t have the talk or anything. She figured it provide the kind of shock value that could compete with all the other gifts I unwrapped that day. You know how my circle of friends was back then.
“But I bet she also figured that kids need to learn, and it would be better I experiment with something safe than hurt myself sneaking around trying out whatever closest equivalent I could find in my parents’ house.”
“Seriously?” Sheila asked. “I can’t imagine anyone in my family, even my extended family, who would even begin to think that.”
“Hey, we can tell ourselves that we aren’t feeling what we’re feeling, and we can pass it off as a guy thing and say boys will be boys, but girls need to be girls too. It’s better for us to know ourselves by the time we get with someone else than to assume our partners will know what to do, especially if we’re the first woman they’ve ever been with.”
“I guess it’s no surprise things were less awkward for you.”
“Oh my first time was still plenty awkward. Heck, my first times still are. The best thing you can do is embrace it. What you need to be concerned about is making sure you don’t get hurt. Because then, even if it isn’t Kevin’s fault, I’m still going to come after him.”
Sheila placed her hand on Laura’s. “I know you would, and I love you for that.”
Laura flipped her hand over halfway and gave Sheila’s a squeeze. Then, after the appropriate amount of time passed, she said, “And if you need me there while you’re wrapped around Kevin, you know, for moral support, I’m your girl.”
“Laura!” Sheila said, pulling back her hand with mock horror. What she didn’t convey, or even know how to deal with, was how much the thought turned her on.
“Size Matters” by Bertel King, Jr. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.